Are You Being Self-LESS or Self-FULL?

by on May 14, 2013

When you really think about it, have you spent more time over the years shopping for clothes and accessories, updating your wardrobe to match your changing preferences and styles, being mindful of how you look and how you appear to make the right impression…than you have on really reflecting on the truth of whether or not your business and your life actually fits you?

Have you reflected deeply on who you are and what you want for your business and your life?

Is it truly what YOU want, and not just what you think you SHOULD want?

Does every area of your business and your life right now truly reflect and fit who you are, and what you most deeply want to manifest in your life?

If so, congratulations!  Your life fits you!  I guess you could say it fits you like a glove!  (Pun intended)    😉

If not, you’re not alone.  And it’s not your fault.  Most of us, especially as women, weren’t really taught to think like this.  Many of us were taught to put other people’s needs and desires before our own.  Many of us were taught that if we put our own needs and desires first, that we were selfish.

While that teaching may (or may not) have been well intentioned, it’s a little off base.  Many of you (consciously or unconsciously) were taught to put everyone else’s needs first.  You were acknowledged, valued, rewarded and praised for doing it.  The problem is, many women have become so good at putting everyone else first, that not only do you come dead last, but you may not even know and be in touch with what YOU actually want, need, and desire.

I know this sounds unbelievable, but I didn’t even understand and learn that it was okay to have feelings and needs of my own, and that it was okay to get them met and put myself first until I was in my 30’s!  It took me all that time to learn and understand that putting myself first didn’t mean I was selfish, wrong, or bad.

Instead, it meant what I now call being “Self-Full” instead of “Self-Less” or “Self-Ish.

We were taught that putting others feelings and needs first before our own, and being “Self-Less”, was somehow better than being “Self-Full”.  Many women still feel guilty for putting themselves first because of this conditioning.

So let’s break the pattern and realize that by putting your feelings and needs first means that you are being “Self-Full”.  That’s a good thing!  And it actually serves you well in both your business and personal life.  After all, if YOU don’t know what you want and need, how is ANYONE ELSE ever going to be able to support you in getting it?  The answer is, they can’t.

The more you have awareness and clarity about what you want AND the courage and commitment to get it, the happier and more fulfilled you will be in every area of your life.

And there’s an old saying:  “When mama’s happy, everyone’s happy!”

Whether you live alone, with others, or have a family, this is so true.  Women are emotional barometers.  If we’re happy and exuberant, we spread that to everyone around us and they become “affected” by our mood.  If we’re unhappy, frustrated, depressed or angry, we also spread that to everyone around us and they become “infected” by our mood.

So the more you take good care of yourself and your needs, the better off you and everyone else is around you!  In Part 2 with my next article, we’ll discuss the “7 Simple Steps on How To Get the RIGHT Fit In Your Business & Your Life”.

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